IF ONLY MEN KNEW HOW TO ROMANCE WOMEN...........

If only men knew now to romance women....she is not as tricky as most feel.…Loving her is easy….its how she wants to be loved that make things a little difficult for men to understand. Women differ from men when it comes to“LOVE”…..she can be demanding….they are easy to fulfil, if a man tries….all she wants is happiness at the end of the day, which every man needs.

I am not claming that a woman is perfect, she has her flaws too….but she is capable of giving and sharing more love and care, than a man can. A woman is a mystery, and no matter how much a man tries, he will never be able to reach her inner self…. Failing very often, not making the effort, because most men think that they are…God’s Gift To Women.

It is difficult for a man to look beyond the physical appearance of a woman…to love her is much more than that. For a woman, romance is looking into her soul, and being convinced that not only is she wanted for her outward beauty, but is also desired for what she is within. A woman wants her man to genuinely feel for her, love her and when she is open with her response, he expresses his unconditional feelings of love to her….letting her know that he can make her happy. There is a difference between “being a lover in love, and being just a love maker”. Any man can become a lover, but a woman wants a man who can look into her eyes as a lover and not as a love maker.

She wants a real man, whom she can trust, respect her, treat her with dignity and honour, cherish her….and the right man who can make her feel like a complete woman…..not the one thing….the score. Romance for a woman is being reassured, which certainly does not mean, saying “I LOVE YOU” 24x7”….its more of showing through simple gestures. She wants to be to heard, and understood, even though it maybe non-verbal, she needs to feel wanted, made to feel special….that touch which will affirm her….she is his woman, and not just a human being, but a woman who is to be treasured with love and tenderness.

For a woman, romance means forever….not a passing phase, which dies down with time….Romance for her is to love her truly with all her imperfections, her mistakes in  life, and in return, she will give her man the world….all of her….all of her heart…. all of her soul. When her man will give her an unexpected smile, she will give him her undivided attention, when he will laugh, she will laugh with him, when he is low, she will hold   him…and when her man tells her that he loves her, she will give him her very existence and be his forever….

BUT TO LOVE A WOMAN TRULY…..MAN WILL HAVE TO TAKE A JOURNEY INTO HIMSELF….AND TO THE MAN WHO DOES IT, GOD GIVES HIM WISDOM, KNOWLEDGE AND HAPPINESS!!!!

Copyright Motifs@2010

Labels: romance, man, woman
Video Courtesy: YouTube, Bryan Adams

Can LOVE overpower FRIENDSHIP?

And I Too Don’t Have The Answer….

  
“Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love but no friendship.” -  Oscar Wilde

Have you ever been in such a kind of relationship? Have you got a friend of the opposite sex? And even if you haven’t had such experiences….why? Is it possible for men and women to be just friends without romance coming in between?

Friendship is a gift to mankind, relations made by choice, and not force or fate. It comes in all forms and complexities, but nothing confuses this important relation as much as gender does.

 It is a subject that comes up time and again in our conversation…Can a man and a woman be just friends, as in “JUST”, as in “ONLY FRIENDS”….no sex, no lust, no passion, no secret crushes and desires…”JUST FRIENDS”.

The answer to the question could be “YES” and with the big “YES”, there would be an addition of “BUT” or “ONLY IF”, so the answer everyone is avoiding is “NO”.

True friendship requires a deep connection, and if a romance factor alters the relationship….then you can either have a thing going on, or just be simple acquaintances.

For many of us the idea of such a relationship is intriguing, but questionable. The life of this kind of relationship is possible but a little improbable…it may get romantic…emotions get involved, possessiveness or jealousy may occur. Will your libido be in silence and not come in the way? But as one grows older and matures in thought we learn that compassion, love, trust and mutual respect are important things in any relationship. We are not animals, we are no longer controlled by our hormones…although I am contradicting myself here…hormones still wake up time to time making life difficult…and believe me age makes no difference. (After all man is a social animal) With maturity one can differentiate between love and friendship and such people just do not buy the concept of a romantic pull in this kind of a relationship.

From the time adolescence sets in, males and females have been drawn to each other because of sexual attraction and curiosity. How do friends draw a line between mutual affection and sexual desire?

So men and women can be friends but the crossing of the bridge towards lust and romance will always be there. It’s like playing with fire, a distinct possibility of getting burnt.

“A single man and a single woman can definitely be friends without sexual tension, as long as one of them is gay or hideously unattractive.” Anonymous 

Personally when I think of my closest male friends, I find reflections of all shades of the multifaceted issue…A “Just Friend” settlement, romance turned “Friendship”, lover as “Best Friend”, male friends who are genuinely just “That Friend”.

A man and a woman can always be, “just friends” …a person has to have control over their actions and responses to people of the same or the opposite sex. I have many male and female friends and I have no problem whatsoever regardless of my sex or orientation.

As an individual, I strongly believe that life is nothing but an opportunity to know yourself and explore what’s within you till you live. You may have missed your whole life, just that last breath you took or the last moment on earth, if you have not found a true friend or been one even for a second…AND if you have, then you have NOT missed out on anything because a single moment of love and friendship with a man or a woman is equal to the whole eternity. That is the glory of “FRIENDSHIP”.

Coming back to the main point here, in the classic romance, “When Harry Met Sally”, Billy Crystal tells Meg Ryan that men and women can never be friends because sexual attraction gets in the way. The concept of platonic friendship that arose and was largely talked on and written from the time of Greek philosopher Plato, still remains as unclear and confusing as ever. We all know that men are from Mars and women from Venus, agree that there will be friction between the two, agree that sexual tension and romantic feelings are bound to creep in between……….BUT CAN’T THE TWO EVER BE FRIENDS???                                                                                                                                      
“Think where man’s glory most begins and ends, And say my glory was I had such friends”– W.B. Yeats (1865- 1939). ‘The Municipal Gallery Re- visited’ (1939)

Copyright@Motifs2010
Picture Courtesy - Google Images

Adam's Rib

MAY GOD FORGIVE MAN……..BECAUSE I CAN’T!!!!

  

“She takes just like a woman, yes, she does

She makes love just like a woman, yes she does

And she aches just like a woman

But she breaks like a little girl.”(Bob Dylan- :’Just Like a Woman’ – 1966 song)  

I grew up with the belief that I was made from Adam’s rib. God in his infinite mercy took one rib from Adam’s body and fashioned me – a woman, the delectable and unfathomable Eve. The years and life led me to doubt this sacrament and I realized that it was turning into a fallacy. I, an extension of Eve, not delectable and unfathomable in any way, ended up becoming Adam’s limbs, his very backbone and his very own punching bag. So much for the analogies that as Eve, made from his rib, would reach up only to Adam’s chest, would always be a part of him, feel secure and live in his heart.

Is man the protector and the head of the family just because he is the bread-winner? I raise my hand in protest! Don’t take me as being biased or a feminist. I assert that yes, man does protect, provided a woman shields him from all ends. Man prides himself as a savior, but I, a woman, am ‘his’ saving grace!

“The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world”…..how easily man forgets! He does not remember that it was a woman like me who brought him into this world, gave him to suckle the very breath of life from her body till he could stand on his own limbs. He depended on her for his very own being. In his youth, his keen and searching eyes found me, the Rib to pamper his ego, be a party to his nights and once again, to nurture and nourish him. I, a woman, brought forth into this world his child…..and gave him the privilege to become a ‘father’. I wonder, did he ever realize that he was so dependent on me….even for his own identity!

It has…even though it is too late….now dawned on me that we live in a male dominated society where, even today, women are still treated as second-class citizens. Though I, a woman has proved herself over and over again that I can do everything, I know that I remain till this day, an item of lust, desire, housekeeping and a baby making contraption.

A woman is still treated as a man’s personal servant or a slave. The main factor behind is the evident male ego, due to which we women submit ourselves.

As a woman I have learned that I have come alone and I have to go alone….I have learned that  a man is there for you only when he needs you, not otherwise…..I have learned that giving extra care to a man or pampering his selfish whims will do me no good.

“Do you see that woman?

She seems so invincible…..but touch her and she will flinch. Do you know why? She has secrets and she trusts no one. She is the perfect example of betrayal!  Because the one man she trusted broke her!”

This is not a revelation for women…the Diary of Sonya Tolstoy(1844-1919) reads…”I am a source of satisfaction to him, a nurse, a piece of furniture, a woman – nothing more.”

Copyright@Motifs2010

Images Courtesy Google Images