Monday, January 17, 2011

BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU ARE…..It made me…. You can start NOW!

It’s hard to be happy with yourself nowadays with all of the standards set by society. People are expected to be successful, socially well-adapted, philanthropic, worldly, fit, loving, and family-oriented; all at the same time! Is there really enough time in the day for all of this? In the end, who are we trying to please anyway? Why
do we jump through hoops to be the perfect person?
I am happy quite simply because I am living! No really, that’s why…. You see I’ve recently come to the conclusion that life rocks, even when it sucks. I am lucky. I’m happy because I’ve got people in my life that love me, and I have dreams I’m beginning to work towards. I’m happy that I’m awake, aware of where I am and can see now that however vivid my dreams were - they were just in my head, but I’m also happy for those dreams because they make me see some of my issues I try to avoid during the day, they confront me and tell me I have things that still need healing! I’m mostly happy because today I feel like I can get through my problems, I’m happy because I know when this phase of my life is over, I’ll come out stronger and I won’t forget the friends I’ve made, during this healing process.

I am happy because things are never normal. I know most people just want a normal life, but I never really want one now. A lot of times when life gets crazy and hectic, I feel like I want it to be normal, but as soon as it is normal again I crave drama, I crave intensity. I guess my life’s never really been completely normal, but now I like it that way. What’s the point of living if everything’s automatic? That’s why I think life would be awful for robots. Six billion people on this planet and none of them are exactly alike any other. Uniqueness is awesome and allows for some pretty sweet adventures. I can’t think of one time I have been offered a chance for an adventure and turned it down, because I have come to realize that life is one big adventure. And believe me, I get that offer a lot these days….and I have learnt to deal with them. 
 I have a question for you all, what you see, do you really see me. Can you understand, what goes on underneath. What do you see, is it the effortless facade? The perfect hair and clothes, everyone wishing they knew me…. No one has ever seen who I really am, I only wish I could let them see.
Now I will tell you what you can’t see, sometimes I wish I could live effortlessly, not in the compulsions. My body cries out to me, telling me to stop, I close my ears…..There is no stopping, just another mile. The tears that come, when I look at myself…I see no beauty, all I can see are the flaws….Not perfect by any means, I know it’s wrong. When I hurt its worse, I get this obsessive need to run. Please listen to me, I cry and bleed, I am not close to perfection. See what’s really underneath; don’t just judge me by what you get to see.
This is me….and now no longer me….there are days when I go back to being like I have said above, but now I am trying to learn to pull myself out of it.
I am happy….happiness is within me….that is my soul. If you are happy, you feel the whole world is happy to see your happiness, and if you are unhappy you feel everyone is sad to see you in that state….I am happy because I can bring a smile on the faces of my dear ones…. I am satisfied with my acts…. I don’t keep any grudges against anybody. I am happy because I ought to be happy. This life is very short; I am astounded from where people bring time for jealousy and hatred….live your life to the fullest and be happy….I am happy because I choose to be.
My life took a drastic turn this year….I wasn’t sure where happiness fitted in my life anymore, but I have opened up my arms to it and trying to grab on to it tightly. At first I was in incredible pain, blinded by it for a long time….I stepped close to the edge. I am aware of how much pain I must have given to all around me, and I know that it would be wrong not to cherish what I have, which is my life. So I do, I cherish it and seek out happiness…..I am now again able to see the beauty in my surroundings……I am happy even though I will always carry my loss.

It took a while, but I have become happy with who I am….Thanks to some very important people in my life, who have actually taught me to love my self. I know there is always room for improvements but, after my life took a U turn, I started looking at me and realized I didn’t like me. I made a lot of changes so much so that everyone around noticed. Sure I have bad days, but I have more good days. It has been a long process….I have given years of my life in search of happiness. I have had to go through hell at times ...and it wasn’t easy at all. The first thing I did was try to change all of those things I didn't like about me. Also one of the most important things was ignoring other people’s thoughts about me and creating my own opinion about myself. You can't expect happiness to just land in your lap. You need to take the initiative to make changes that will make you happy.
It’s truly exhausting when you think about (or not) to be anything other than one’s “true” self. When you let go of putting on a persona of how you think others should view you/ acting pretentiously like someone you are not…it’s…freedom. Imagine just living and making the best out of the amazing vessel you embody in this moment. It seems so euphoric, but it’s an existence anyone can have. It’s hard right… particularly when one has developed habits of holding onto negativity and having that become part of your mental…your being….What would you do if you knew that in seven seconds, seven minutes, seven hours, seven days, seven months, or seven years, that your last breath would cease to be? How would you live? 

How would you be, feel, love…? It’s never too late to start all over again….and be happy.

‘Let go of the past and go for the future. Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you imagined.’  Henry David Thoreau

Labels:Happy, life,love,dreams
Pictures Courtesy:Google Images


  1. Alpu you are getting wiser beyond your years...but this is the spirit I want to see in deserve to be HAPPY and no one can deny that...the article is too good have given a lot of inspiration to people who are down and out...Keep going girl!!!!!!

  2. Nice one. I believe that the power to stay happy resides inside of us, and we should try to introspect rather than searching for it elsewhere. :)

  3. I can feel your pain,you have done full justice to this, words fail me to appreciate something so beautiful.

  4. Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.
    Albert Einstein
    You are a winner..and I know you will always remain work is getting better by the day....keep writing sweetheart.

  5. past is past. we can't change anything from the past. try to do something better in the future and hope for the best.

  6. I am proud of how you have emerged Alpana... Not many people can emerge from their grief, shake their vulnerability and start the journey with a smile again. You are brave my friend and their is an awful lot to learn from you.

  7. If my heart can become pure and simple, like that of a child, I think there probably can be no greater happiness than this. -- Kitaro Nishida
    And you are like that...way to go,we are all there for you..keep up your good work.

  8. Alpana.... every word you have written equates to a session at the psychologist's office. You have just shared with everyone a beautiful therapeutic experience. Love the way you love yourself!!! :)

  9. I love your post, its so honest and sensitive, you've put yourself out there for all to see and are not afraid of showing your vulnerability...great work...:)

  10. The uncertainties of the present always
    give way to the enchanted possibilities of the future.You are destined for greatness. Enjoy your journey and remember to have fun.I have written on your previous post that "YOU FASCINATE ME"..and now I can say...You are having an amazing effect on me...and you still fascinate me..Alpana

  11. keep on writing,you are great at it...

  12. Awesome Alpu;but "normal"; I think each one of us hold a different view of being normal.The word itself is very controversial!God bless n tons of hugs.....muah.

  13. You have done it,its beautiful and written so well,keep it up.

  14. Wow! Yet another masterpiece from you!
    Past is really past..we can't change our past definitely but if we learn from our past experiences we can become more mature and can take better decisions in the future. We live for the present and can learn from the past..sometimes how hard we try certain good things in life never last.

  15. Who wants to be normal! It's so boring! I loved what you wrote Alpana.

  16. I agree with what you have written about the pressure with respect to society's standards of happiness and success. More often than not, we are unhappy or dissatisfied with our present circumstances because we do not "confirm" or have not achieved the milestones that we should have by a certain age....if we could get up every morning and tell ourselves that we are exactly where we are meant to be on this day and at a particular moment, I believe life would be so much simpler.

  17. Awesome put up as always.You made me remember one of my former posts. "...sitting beside a window".

  18. Happiness - the most sought after. It is in everyone but we go all over looking for it.

    Well written.

  19. Thank you....
    @Ambi..thanks. are biased because you are my sister,thank you anyway.
    @Satwinder...your work inspires me,its a learning experience all over again.
    @Avantika..Thank you,you are god to me.
    @Anuradha..Thank you.
    @Jidhu..we learn from our past.
    @Kriti..Love u lots..God knows what I would have done without u.
    @Ajay..Thank you.
    @Chokher..I have learnt to love myself,but had to pay a price for it..thank you..cheeni.
    @Sulekha..Thank you.. my friend,thats all I need.
    @Reshmi..thank you..normal is boring..don't you think my life is actually exciting?
    @Andrew..Thank you. are my friend..and thanks for always being there.
    @Neeru..Thank you,..Agree with you.
    @Rimly..our thoughts match,soul sister.
    @Souvick..Thank you..coming that from you is great.

  20. "To see a world in a grain of sand
    and heaven in a wild flower,
    Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
    and eternity in an hour."
    William Blake


  21. once you find the love deep inside you. tap into it and let it flood the world. you have found the scepter of life it self. thank you for being you. god bless

  22. Alpana,
    You are going through one of the hardest time in any persons life....
    You are reaching out for support, and in the process finding happiness on solace in who you are...
    You are a beautiful woman who deserves all the goodness this world has to offer.
    You are walking you walk.
    Stay strong my friend.
    You are a source of strength for me.

  23. here is a little care package god bless

  24. It is obvious to all that read you, that you are now on a wonderful part of the journey, the rod that will lead to your dreams. You are awesome girl

  25. "happiness is withIN me...that is my soul..."

    i have been for a while a captive of empty negative thoughts, it would break me down at times...then my spiritual director gave me a week retreat on freedom...

    he patiently waited for took me long to realize that i hold the key towards happiness... and that i should never lose that key as i rebuild my life everyday with other people...

    the best thing is we always have a choice... and i choose to be happy... i thank God for all the love He gives me and for blessing me with loving people to journey with...

    thanks soul sis... this is one of your best posts... :D...

  26. I am happy to hear that you finally like yourself in the end that is the most important fact. Then you can start really loving others. At one point years ago I was in fact near that 7 whatever and when I made it i started living. I changed my life not you I am but how I deal with being me. I am now happy and the women that matters the most to me is happier. I slip sometimes of course I do but I pick myself up much faster now.

  27. Happiness is a choice. Look at your room and it will reminds you on how to be happy. :)
    The door tells you, once it closes there will be other doors that will open for you. The window is actually saying to let the negativeness you feel out and let the positive vibes in. The ceiling says to aim high and never afraid to fall cause there is the floor who will catch you will symbolizes your family and friends :)

  28. Happiness is a tough topic. One person's happiness is another's misery and vice versa. There is nothing that can make a person happy but, themselves. Life is a struggle it is not easy, if it is easy it is boring and you aren't learning what you should be learning about life. Always be true to yourself. You don't need to change for anyone, only for yourself. As far as not liking yourself, I have been there and done that. It's funny in a way because the more one doesn't like themselves the more other's do. Maybe it isn't like that for all people, it is for me. Be yourself always and those few rare people who truly love you will always enhance your life. And in my opinion being normal is overrated.

  29. I have found not to expect others to find the happiness for you. Not to think if I was with that person I will definitely be happy.

    It is within ourselves by loving ourselves that we truly find happiness with life and with others.

    That said, I'm still searching my soul.


  30. di...its wonderful....I can totally relate myself and my situation right life is also many problems...but still i am dreaming...yeah there are dreams in my mind too..though they may never come true...but still they are there to keep me happy...may be help me to face the situation.....

    Other people though that i am taking these problems lightly...but only my heart and my soul know real me...these problems effect me...i am always thinking about problems....trying to find out some way...most of the times i failed but still i am happy...i am happy from inside..because i know that someday i will find out the way...

    you are right life is never perfect or normal..and one should have tough times in really help them to know the importance of happiness and normal life....if one doesn't know the tough life he/she never understand life and its can be meaningless, motiveless, effortless and monotonous without pain...


    even perfect life is boring after sometime of enjoyment...its like spending night on the bed of lots of money....there is no one with are so happy to be enjoy this for a take a breath of know you have all what you want to have through out your life...but still you start missing your love terribly missing them to be there with you to celebrating your success....and found out that those bundle of notes(money) now no value for have a worst sleepless night on that bed...even you got what you wanted so desperately but still you are not happy...

    "Perfectness is just a satisfactory you become perfect and satisfied...its all gone...again you strive for another perfectness"--my own thinking..hehehehe

    masterpiece are great writer....keep writing..and we keep visiting you and reading you more and more...

  31. Dear dear Alpana - I'm glad that you, like me, are learning that happiness is an inside one else can make you happy, but Alpana the beautiful, compassionate and loving woman. Love ya!

  32. Mushkilon mein bhag jana asaan hota hai..
    har pehlu zindagi ka imtihan hota hai...
    darne walon ko kuchh milta nahi zindagi mein....
    aur ladne walon ke kadmon mein jahan hota hai.....

    Stay Bleesed N Be Happy.

  33. happiness is the antithesis of crying, SAPS!!!, theres no secret to making it last for more than 20 min,,,after that-just remenising.....quit daydreaming online and go for a jog (a 1st step to not being sad,-the entithesis of being content.} i mispelled wordds in hopes of making u happy that i could be wrong and were all not a huge a kid when a dicey person explains that theiiiirs no santa to a kid.. she now has an excuse to continue living in denial and shedding the shame of being duped


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