Heartache

Heartache

This post is for two very special people in my life,I call them my soul sisters... Rimly Bezbaruah & Melissa Tandoc. I love you both,and this is my way of saying,you both are "THE BEST"...

Do you ever truly get over the most intense relationship in your life? Has the person you love more than anything in the world left you? Did the two of you break up? Have you been dumped, slighted, walked out on, or deserted for another? Does your heart ache and ache endlessly? Have you lost sleep, your appetite, or even your job? Are you caught in the grief? 

You always remember the love which gave you the most happiness, that person who swept you off your feet. Even though your relationship came to an end, is it ever possible to forget? Can you move on completely, or do you compare all future relationships to your "special" love?

"Sometimes losing your mate to a breakup can be far more devastating than losing someone to death"....

It is said that the second most intense life stresser is loss of love. The first is death. But I question this? Both are final. Both, in most cases, result in the physical removal of someone special from your life. Both result in the loss of a way of life we have become familiar with.  However with death you have the peace of knowing you were in your lost loved one's heart. You know you were not abandoned purposely, cast aside, or rejected. With death you can take off work and get sympathy. You can go through closing rituals and you can feel contentment that they are in a better place. But with breakups, separation, or divorce, even though you have the assurance that they are still alive somewhere on this Earth, their love was intentionally withdrawn from you. You no longer have their presence, nor their care. You can't have that person....And that is some pain.

The past hurts....especially if it involves someone you deeply loved....but there is one thing you can do....always be positive about yourself....when you think about the past, you feel demotivated and you tend to put all the blame on yourself and that is when you feel low. Do you think you would have been depressed if you put all the blame over your partner? Don't hurt yourself by thinking about the past,its not going to help you.Its going to make things far worse! As you move on....your past will mould you to a better person, that is if you try to be in a position to be “yourself”and learn to love yourself.Your past is what makes you who you are today....and in the future.

When you’ve lost someone you love, it’s easy to focus on the better parts of your relationship and life together. But, there was a reason you broke up, maybe even several reasons. Don’t ignore the “bad” parts of the relationship and idealize only the best portions…..instead, keep reminding yourself that you’re letting go of the past because holding on to it isn’t good for you.

There are some things we never ever get over, but we can still live a full and rewarding life and achieve our goals. Part of letting go of someone you love is accepting that you may never have all the answers. No matter how good, smart, helpful, giving, or attractive you are, you can’t control other people. If they leave you, they have their reasons….and sometimes those reasons have nothing to do with you. The sooner you accept your lack of control, the easier it’ll be to let go of someone you love. Letting go of the past isn't magic,you think and its done with.... You’re free, healed, and happy! Rather, letting go is a journey sprinkled with steps forward and steps backward, good days and bad days.

I think today I can say that I have learned how to love, let go, and open my heart to love again. And I’ve survived those heart-wrenching, gut twisting breakups that slam you to the ground and rip you to pieces.

Letting go is a process that takes time...and believe me,its not easy.

Let go..... Understand that there is no benefit in holding on to heartache, regret, and hatred toward another person. Realize that although it is over, your relationship with that person was unique and special in a lot of ways. You can congratulate yourself for being brave enough to take a risk and fall in love, and encourage your heart that even though love didn't work out this time, there will be a next time. Keep reminding yourself that a relationship is one part of life, but even when you are in one, there are personal pleasures that you can always enjoy on your own. Indulge in those things now.

As they say, the best revenge is living well....And for a change.....Enjoy being single......

That was the ultimate lesson in powerlessness and letting go for me.

Copyright@Motifs2011

Labels: Heartache,pain,love,life,letting go

Picture:Courtesy Google Images