Monday, December 20, 2010



Don’t we all come into this world as seekers, constantly striving to find the role of a successful rapport with everyone and everything we are connected with? The world seems to be constantly echoing with disconcerting chorus of voices, the result of frustrated relationships between parents and children, husbands and wives, friends, siblings, employees and colleagues. From birth to death, a person’s success or failure is often associated with the kind of relationships he has had, with the elements of this world….nature, people and beyond it all. To have perfect relationships can sometimes be the hardest nut to crack.

Due to the phenomenal changes in every sphere of our lives since the last century….the definitions of human relationships have changed….Where now a good relationship is not one that just lasts, but one that co-exists with self respect, trust, individuality and the need to grow. If a relationship you are in, is not giving you peace and tranquility, and there isn’t any possibility of things getting better, then you are in an impossible relationship.

As the universe is instantiated in human form, a key purpose of our lives is to form relationships with human beings. We form various kinds of relationships in order to satisfy our needs for love, companionship, security, stimulation, sexual fulfilment, financial security, and so on.

 I believe, every relationship we are in serves a definite purpose in life….it fulfils our needs as well as the needs for someone else. Worrying about the future, whether in a relationship or anything related to life, is not in our control. Yes, what we can have hold over, is our thoughts, emotions and responses. So, whether you are in a working environment, with friends or family, one can try to acknowledge the other person as an individual….in a conflicting relationship, try and find out where you went wrong, instead of looking for faults in the other person….with communication playing a major factor.

 Children feel closer to parents who treat them like adults and  listen to them more than those who rule by fear. When you treat them like friends, they will confide everything in you and it will make them feel closer to you…. protecting them from outside influences that maybe attractive but can get them into trouble.

A healthy romantic relationship is about two independent people choosing to becoming partners in the journey of life, for as long as it works for them….enjoy it assuming that the partner you have chosen, and who has chosen you is giving you sense of security and stability…..both working towards it….love, care, respect, honour, trust and knowing each another’s limitations will be the foundation of a strong relationship.

Not every relationship between a man and a woman has to end with a ‘ring’…..not even the romantic ones. Life is all about seasons, changing all the time. You are the real thing….discovering love, respect and acceptance is required for ourselves, before giving it to anyone. Lack of self awareness and self love can be detrimental to any person as well as the relationship

 Our ‘ring’ obsessed culture has forgotten that the journey can often be far valuable than the destination, down the aisle. Today, when 50% of marriages are ending in divorce, it is unfair to teach children that all relationships are supposed to last forever. It is not true that when you fall in love with somebody, or find the right person, you will live happily ever after.

 Basically, what I am trying to say is that enjoy every relationship you are in, without thinking what will happen, or what may happen. By stating ‘a healthy relationship’ I mean, when you feel good about yourself when being around with your loved ones or the people you interact with on a regular basis, and there is an equal amount of give and take…..feeling safe, trusting with secrets, and evolve in his or her ability to be both themselves and each other.

"It is easy for me to have a relationship with God, I know I can trust be there, to do the right thing, to love me....And it is easy for me to have a relationship with me....I know I can trust me.....Not to be perfect, but to keep growing in that direction. And when I find somebody else I can trust, I have a great foundation for a loving relationship." -Justin Timberlake

Copyright Motifs@2010

Labels: Relationships


  1. Thank you..Hansika and Shashank Sahu, for the title...Hansika, I would be lost without your you always.

  2. Really we should respect each relationship.

    Wishing you luck & success In all that you do!

  3. Great! I wish a whole lot of people would read this beautiful write up of yours, and realise what relationships r all about..."try to find out where you went wrong, instead of looking for faults in the other person...". I love this...keep it up, Alpu, all the best, and a big God bless you!

  4. relationship with god, self ,and others...........very well written.loved it alpana keep up the good work.

  5. Great.......................................Great.

  6. "String" thats attached to Relationships is always mentioned about one's relationship with others, BUT unfortunately never with one's own SELF. The day relationship with self is in Harmony, the true meaning of relationship will dawn, which has to be without expectations. The rest will be taken care of including relationship with GOD. Well written Alpana, god bless...

  7. Nice post.
    If person have no relationship, he/she will become mad. The relationship may be in the form of mother's love or friendship or love. In my workplace, I got order that Don't make friendship with my subordinates.

  8. You have done it once again my li'l have touched every relationship in a beautiful respect for your writings is growing by leaps and bounds...keep up the good work prayers and best wishes are always with you.

  9. God Alpana, by far the best I have read so far. so insightful and thought provoking.

  10. Truly Insightful Alpana! I am not too sure if I can say a long lasting relationship is a good... many times it necessary isn't. There's so much of pain, struggle, compromise, adjustments, sacrifices, and other forces that bind a relationship together. End of the day when there's no love... it doesn't mean much!

    I agree with you completely.... if you find yourself giving more than you are taking in any relationship.. there is a problem!

  11. Hey Alpu....babes u've done it again...i so empathize with it....go girl....u've written so well.....way to go...take each day as it comes is my motto u...and all the best!!!!

  12. Very well said Alpana, In Order to live a Happy Life, we must live Happy Relationships, A Sick Relationship leads to a sick life


  13. Very well-said! May you grow and glow!

  14. Thank you everyone...@Vineet,@Alkadi,@Sarda,@Didar Bhaiya,@Viju,@Jidhu,@Aniladi,@Nandini,@Rimly,@Sheba,@Seema,@Bilal,@Sandy..You people have been wonderful...hope to live up to your expectations.And, Rimly,Sheba,Seema, Sulekha,Kirti,Swati,Dichen....thanks for being there for me, at anytime..(as you say..'night queens'..sleep is for the weak,we are the brave hearts)love you.

  15. Once again a beautiful write up. Thanks a ton..

  16. Veryyy well written!! relationships are complicated....i wish we cud unravel the mystery of relations!!!!

  17. BITTERSWEET STRINGS........ a different way of thoughts whirling down the life stream adjusting the life frequencies to bitter and sweet strings.

  18. Again your writing stimulates my thinking. Love and healthy relationships take work, commitment, and a willingness to adapt and change through the different stages. But in my opinion it has to be realised that not all can work, or survive for ever. You must take the good that you shared, remember it, but move on.

  19. super like post...super like title/topic....super like writer...

  20. One of the deepest and most pressing needs for humanity is to have trusting and fulfilling

    I think in every relationship we should think that, "Are these
    relationships actually encouraging us and affirming us as a person or are these
    relationships simply soul draining, energy zapping and leaving us with feelings of resentment,
    depression, hopelessness, frustration, guilt, shame and being used?.....and if the answer of the second set of querries is yes, then we should take a look and think where we went wrong.....

    BTW a very well written and logically analyzed write up Alpana fact a thought provoking one.


  21. I agree with you Alpana in many points...except marriage.....many times I can't think any thing on marriage.
    About parent and children and other relations too. it's the perfect post. Even I have learnt a big practical lesson from your post.

    I agree with Irfanji too.

    Most of the time, I throw myself in emotions, and by this ppl may use me in friend ship or just for their purpose.

    After facing lots of trouble, i realize I am trusting wrong person. But that time no point in blaming them. So this is what I have learnt.


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