THE OTHER WOMAN

THIS ONE IS FOR YOU RIMLY….THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME THE SUGGESTION

It’s not an easy position to be in. Most likely, you didn’t plan on it, and weren’t thrilled that it happened. It has, and even though you may feel you’ve made a mistake, it’s not that easy to correct. If you are finding yourself confused, upset, or feeling horrible about your relationship, you need to ask yourself some questions. Before you can decide what to do, you need to take a good, long look at yourself and figure out how you got yourself into this situation. Remember to be honest with yourself– there is no point in lying to yourself, somewhere down inside you know the truth. 
She is a woman just like any one of us. She has been married and divorced. I know what most of you are thinking, ‘what a slut,’ ‘a home-wrecker’. But here’s the thing – just because she is in a relationship with a married man, does not automatically make her a terrible person. While in many ways it is completely justified to talk badly about the woman on the other side, it is unfair to put all the blame on the “other woman,” especially without hearing their side of the 
story too.

She could be the nicest woman you could ever meet; in fact, you might have met her.... This is the only part of her life that can't be admired, that can't be examined, and that can't be discussed out loud. It's the only part of her life for which she sometimes doesn't respect herself and it keeps her miserable, even when she is  happy, because she know whatever happiness she has is stolen and illegitimate. She is not a fool, even though at times she know that she is acting like one.

At the risk of becoming the most hated woman in polite company, lets tell you about being the other woman. She never set out to become her; she has no intention of breaking down a marriage and, for heavens sake, wouldn't ever consider manipulation techniques like a Fatal Attraction-styled woman to “get” the man. In fact, their years-long romance began innocently enough via Face book. Yes, she knew he was married, with children. And yes, she thought herself strong enough not to fall for the temptation. And yes, she was wrong! Chemistry is a difficult thing to put your finger on…why you are attracted to one person, and not another.... 

They say that adventure lends to spicing up a relationship, or in her case, creating one where none really existed. One cannot say why, only that is was so. She got into this relationship, faster than you could say “off limits.” She is a normal human being, who needs love and affection….She fell head-over-heels in love with him, think-about-him-every-second-of-every-day kind of like him. But you know the feeling and I know you've felt it too, you just need to be with that person no matter what.

Life, it has a way of changing your mind, it can change, your thoughts, emotions, ideals. She never in her wildest dreams thought that I ME.... be engrossed, with a married man? Not ME! 
When she first talked to him, she felt heat rush through her. Her heart fluttered...he took her breath away with his smile. She could actually taste the sweetness of his lips without him touching her at all, she could feel the warmth of his body, even when he was not with her.
(No- this is still NOT about SEX but, human comfort and solace!), it’s an easy familiarity in the open with the man she had grown to adore and care about over the last several years. He is known and comfortable to her, not just the caring and loving parts, but as a great human being. A relationship is finding a mutual way to navigate those bumps with respect, understanding and love. One of the reasons she grew to care about him so much was his way of treating her as a woman, drawing her out of her shell, in general, he made her a new person all over again.

In her journey through life, she has been trying to seek fulfillment. One of the best ways to seek it is sharing that special bond with someone for whom she has passion. And she managed to find it with a man who will never commit entirely to her. ...She has come to accept his limitations, his privacy….

There's definitely SANITY on THIS side of the affair. He's working his issues out, and so is she. They will see if there's a future, and what is destined to happen will certainly take place, but she has really learned A WHOLE LOT about herself and her weak areas that she probably wouldn’t have learned in a more "conventional" relationship.
She is happy and to a certain extent satisfied, she tries to think in this way that at least she has someone who loves her and has made her fully realize self love, she is more confident, can make decisions on her own….and she owes this to him, his effect on her. 

But there are times when she questions herself time and again…Am I really that happy? I dig deep and think about how I feel on a day to day basis. Am I worrying, fretting, depressed, mood swinging, uncertain, miserable, confused, desperate, too dependent? Has my life really been that enhanced? Do I really believe he’ll be mine? Do I believe everything he’s told me? Is this how I saw myself?

Copyright@Motifs2011

Labels: Woman, other, love, relationship

Picture Courtesy: Google Images