Wednesday, April 6, 2011


My inner soul drifts aimlessly in times of hopelessness
It searches tirelessly for a meaning and truth
Yet it finds no direction
Moment to moment
Seconds to minutes
Minutes to hours
Bits and pieces are motionless

I saw my eyes in the mirror
And cried at the sight
I looked at myself
I cried every tear in my body
I don’t understand as to why I am crying
For joy, or for life
I adore life
Because there’s so much to see and do
I hate life
Because it’s bound to end

I lie awake at night
Wasting time
Thinking about how much of my life is wasted
Just by wasting time
I fought with myself for so many years
Attempting to convince myself
I gave everything up 
And still it’s not enough
I thought I would be happy
But I was wrong
I am still wondering
Who am I?

A new day begins
I want to be free
To fly up high
Not to stay grounded
With my thoughts

My hand reaches out earnestly in these times of confusion
It dials the number of a familiar and calming voice
And gratefully, my lifeline to sanity ... remains intact
I am someone
I find out who I am
When I was with someone else
I thought I was lost forever
When a friend found me
I held a life in my hand
And it was my own

I walked the fine line between surviving
And not wanting to survive
I still am
I am someone
I rediscover my dignity
No more remorse
And no more self pity
Who am I?
Well, I know now
The truth is
I am me

Labels: Who, tears, remorse, life, death, truth
Pictures: Courtesy Google Images


  1. very nicely written. There's nothing else to say.

  2. Arunabha BhattacharjeeApril 6, 2011 at 3:14 PM

    Hi Alpana ,

    In one word " U Rock"

    The poem depicts real life and i can visualise d entire thng with my inward eye dats where d success of any author or poet lies if he can make the reader visualise it. U hv immense potentialities pls dont let it go.Truly , u have a long way to go... U have it in you , not many have it .. Believe it !!!

    Wish u all d happiness and true success in ur forth comin days as u deserv it!


  3. cool as I thought you'd turn out to be me


  4. Hi Alpana! The feelings of the heart all of joy, tears , questions and answers, love and hatred........everything expressed so beautifully.......the complete one. I loved it. :)

  5. Do we ever really know who we are? I mean completely know? Our lives are constantly changing as well as our inner beings.
    Lovely poem Aplana. Thank you for sharing:)

  6. Beautiful poem Alpana.... Who you are is how you want to depict yourself as the real you in front of everybody as well as yourself...;)

  7. existential anxiety 101 :P... it's a question i always ask myself too... who i was a year ago is not the same me as now... the more i enter myself...the more i get to know who i really am...

    you express yourself well in all your poems... and i'm glad to know you soul sis... you are you...wonderful ;)

  8. you are the dazzling starlight bright
    you are the enlightment of sunlight
    you are the grace and a beauty on every phase
    you are my confident inspiration in life's lovely race..............


  9. beautifully written...and so true.

  10. beautifully penned thoughts....

    1st time here at ur Blog and genuinely happy to be here, you have got a nice Blog here.


  11. Is there anything left to say...yes definitely.Two things can happen when we read something.We will read it,enjoy and then forget it.The other is when we read it we will feel it within us and keep it within us forever.I hardly remember any of your posts that I have not felt and kept within me forever.You are the master of this art.Every word you write is magic.Simply mind blowing.And I am still searching WHO AM I? :D

  12. Great work, Alpana! There's nothing better than being yourself, whatever that is. We are always evolving and changing. <3

  13. hi alpana
    another beautifully expressed piece of poetry.. especially the "wasting time" part :)

  14. Another great post Alpana, I often wonder "who am I" but like you I say "I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who am not!

  15. What a nice combination of poetry and prose that is!

    Loved reading it!

  16. This is the one question a thinking mind and a sensitive soul would ask oneself....

    be like this.


  17. Wonderful lines.

    The soul can be frail - but it can survive the strongest of the tides!!

  18. Its an illusion, a choice we have. To see a meaning in us, in life. Either ways, we end up living it.

    Could connect in bits. Nice read. :)


  19. We are constantly evolving Alpana. This poem is your journey in finding yourself. Loved it

  20. Beautiful and thought provoking! I love your writing.

  21. I hate life
    Because it’s bound to end

    That might be the saddest thing I have ever read!!!
    It brought tears to my heart

  22. You bring across so vividlt the struggles people have with life, as well as with death. But you have also shown the power of contemplating your life, reflecting on your successes and failures, realising where you are, and remembering where you want to go. You really have surpassed yourself this time.

  23. I have asked myself these same questions and been in a very similar place...and I kept searching, just like you. I discovered how to feel that connection with my Inner Being that I was so longing for, just by finding thoughts that feel good and focusing on them; by finding things to appreciate and praise.

    You have a wonderful gift for expressing what is in your heart, Alpana...thank you for sharing that with all of us.


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