Friends Forever....For All Of You In Nagpur

As the autumn leaves fall, I feel the same about the "autumn of my life" in Nagpur. As we say goodbye to the red and yellow leaves on the trees, I too said goodbye to the place I had spent fifteen years of my life. Now I sit on my porch and welcome the moon shining down upon a magical evening in Siliguri.... my hair no longer sticks to my face like it did then, but blows gently in the wake of the passing storm. I am comforted by the sound of crickets. They are always there, singing in happiness or lamentation, no matter what mood I may be in.

Now that I have left, I am just thinking as to what I have actually left behind....not only a place, but a very integral part of my soul, my very existence, my roots, and my friends. I remember my days in Nagpur....my wedding....the start of my life, stepping into the role of a wife, daughter-in-law, and then a mother. In this course of time, I became deeply rooted to this alien place, I now felt home. In this journey I rubbed shoulders with many people; some were warm and open, others afraid and closed. Some I connected with, others came and were gone. Some lingered a while....but every now and then...either through fate or by chance, or because of a Higher power...in an unexpected moment, I was touched by a smile that marked its place in my memory. Do we meet again? And the more we don’t, will we be friends forever? Next to God, there is no greater gift in life than a FRIEND FOREVER....and they are those people I have in Nagpur...for whom, my heart still cries out.

I would think I would get used to the frequencies of goodbyes in my life. I numb myself just to cope sometimes, and I hope my friends don’t see me as one, who has stopped caring…. I wish I could make use of the time, to tell them how much I love them all, how much I miss them, and how much they mean to me. But I can’t. I can’t breathe this finiteness. I hope that some how, they’ll just know that I’m struggling to let go. My heart swells with friends trapped inside, who I can see later through a certain song, a wafting smell, or a secret joke. I try to ignore the brevity of the fact, that I no longer occupy space with my friends in Nagpur. The parties that would linger for days into weeks....playing cards….cooking together... Drag it out. Lessen the pain. The more I talk to them, the more memories I stuff into the special place, just for them in my heart. Why me? I don’t want to say goodbye forever, I make it so, that there is one more day for us to meet, until eventually there may be no tomorrow.

I try to convince myself that it is not goodbye; it is I’ll see you later. Because it’s the only way I can say goodbye. It’s the only way, I know how. It turns out that memories of people, memories of happiness, and memories of anything are just a part of everyone’s life. How can you destroy a memory? It would be like killing a part of your life, a part of you. Memories are something that sometimes remains forever, and when they stop hurting you, you realize the big picture.

I have to be glad for what I had, for what I felt, for everything. So, before going on, I want to thank some people, for the times I spent with my friends there, were the best ones of my life. All of you will always bring a smile upon my face, no matter what. How many moments we shared, both happy, and sad, to some special friends of mine, who helped me getting through in many ways, there are so many things I’d like to tell you that I probably can’t say it here. I’ll just say thanks, and that I don’t want to forget you all forever. To friends who were more like sisters, you just don’t know how important you all are to me. And I will never forget your help, the times some of you who really watched me cry, I could see in your eyes what I was looking for. I know you all from a lifetime, and I’m so glad I have friends like you. Thanks are probably not enough....but I hope you will know as to what I mean.

To my friends blessed by God, we live so far, but you all are always there in my prayers and good wishes. I never thought I could meet some people like you in life, to bond together, with strings, stronger than any other relationships I had there. I felt you when I needed it, and you always had a right word.

Thank you everyone, also to some people I met in this journey of mine, who taught me how to judge people….well to everyone who made my life a wonderful one there. Sure, these things will never come back. But at least I had them, because some people don’t even know what it feels like,…so, I think, in the end, I have to see the glass half-filled, full, because now, I try to see my life, one which is full of satisfactions.

It’s when you stop complaining that you see what you have. And I have so much, so much that I don’t know why I should suffer. But, looking back makes me cry, brings me back to a back place I would like to be. But you know what? This time, when I looked back, I cried, not because I was sad, I was actually crying in happiness, because I lived those moments, and I still can feel how much they gave me. This time, when I looked back, I smiled, and that’s how I’ll start again, with a smile. Remembering that something is still waiting for me out there.

No, erasing is not useful. You just have to keep your memories in a safe place. You don’t know, one day you might find out you still like remembering them. And when you start back, you have to remember what happened, because you can’t run away. I’ll start again, but knowing what I felt, both good both bad. And yes, how I like starting again this way. Life is beautiful, because I just don’t know how some things that should make ME feel bad, are actually making me feel happy. It just happens, like everything else....and now, I can hear the world calling me... and I just want to go out and enjoy what I have....isn’t it what you all want for me?????

 Pictures:  1.Nagpur

                  2.Diksha Bhoomi, Nagpur

                 3.Oranges of Nagpur

                4.VCA Stadium, Nagpur

                5.Futala Lake, Nagpur

               6.Centre Point School, Nagpur

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Labels: Friendship, memories, love, remembering, Nagpur

Pictures: Courtesy Google Images